When you become a mom, advice comes in from all directions.
Everywhere you turn a stranger, friend, or family member is offering their two cents on the subject of motherhood whether you ask or not. Some advice is well-meaning and kind, while other advice is absurd and bizarre. We should not bombard new moms with every single thing we know about life and newborns.
While our intentions are good, the information is overwhelming and our OPINION.
Yes. I said it. Even if it worked for us and our family, it’s still our opinion.
It is my experience that every piece of advice should be taken with a grain of salt.
As a mom of four out of the baby stage, I have LOTS of experience with all things baby. Believe it or not, this also includes years of experience in the realm of infertility. It is perhaps the infertility journey that I perfected the “smile and nod”, although pregnancy and motherhood gave me lots of practice with that too.
When someone offers their unsolicited advice, smile and nod. That doesn’t mean you have to take that advice.
I want you to grab that warm cup of Nursing Mama tea, coffee, jug of water, or Dr Pepper and get comfortable. I’m going to share with you the ONE thing you need to remember.
Advice For New Moms
If you remember nothing else, I want you to remember this (and I’m seriously crying as I type this because I wish someone had sat with me and spoke these words over me.) piece of advice:
It gets better.
Did you catch that? Maybe you don’t believe it.
The day didn’t go as planned and you can’t remember the last time you slept. It’s okay. Let me repeat it for you.
IT GETS BETTER.
Now I want you to repeat those words with me.
Dear Mom, It Gets Better
As a mom on the other side, let me tell you that it DOES get better. New moms, the long nights won’t last forever. The colic, the worry over whether you’re producing enough milk, the middle of the night bottle feedings, the figuring out naptimes, and balancing it all, it gets better.
Those sleepless nights feel like they will never end. I see the tears streaming down your face as you rock your baby trying to calm their cries and nothing helps. I know those middle of the night feedings and early wake-ups for work do not mix well. Thank goodness for coffee!
I’ve sat in the chair with a My Brest Friend wrapped around my waist, trying to make sure I’m holding my newborn in the right position to get her to latch on and it doesn’t work. I have sent the text of desperation just hoping that someone will text back quickly telling me that what I’m feeling is normal and that this won’t last forever.
Motherhood is wonderful and fulfilling. It can also be lonely and isolating.
Dear new moms, you are not alone. This is but a season that I promise will not last forever.
You can do this, mama.
When the days are long and there feels like there is no end in sight, I want you to remember these words.
It gets better.
Throughout this journey, you’ll have people give you advice right and left. While they are well-meaning, remember that YOU are the mom. You can listen, but you don’t have to take their advice. You can even thank them for their time before they start talking and walk away.
You know what’s best for you and your family.
Our schedule was never the same as anyone I knew. Friends thought I was crazy. Maybe I was. But I did what worked for us. It wouldn’t work for everyone. It helped me regain my sanity and not feel so overwhelmed and that’s all that mattered. No matter what anyone else thought.
You’re doing a great job, mama. It gets better.