A true story where I confess my selfish heart and my thankfulness for grace and forgiveness.
Well, it happened.
I watched on Facebook as it had already happened to several friends. I tried to stop it before it started by talking about the correct usage of scissors and how they were ONLY to be used for paper and with Mommy and/or Daddy there.
Perhaps it was confusing because these were nail scissors? You don’t cut paper with nail scissors.
Sure, I did it as a child. I also cut the hair of my dolls.
But we talked about this.
And yet it happened.
She did it.
The headband keeping her hair out of her eyes was simply not enough anymore. She apparently felt the need for bangs. She has curly hair. When you cut curly hair, it shrinks up even more after you wash it.
Thankfully, a barrette helps conceal it. But I have to examine my own heart here.
You see, I got upset. So angry. Sure, I can excuse it away by saying it happened right after I woke up. We hadn’t made it downstairs yet. No breakfast had filled my tummy, and no coffee had been poured. But WHY did that upset me so?
She didn’t hurt herself. Thankfully. She didn’t hurt her brothers. It was hair. Hair grows back.
I felt sinned against. She hadn’t listened to ME. She disobeyed ME. She completely ignored the instruction that I had given her previously. I now had to take this child with crazy bangs out in public. What were people going to think of ME?
Did you catch the pattern? Me too.
It was all about ME. Her hair will grow back. But I can’t take back the disappointment in my voice or the words that I said to her in the heat of the moment.
While we were eating lunch, she looked at me, and apologized for cutting her hair.
Then she said, “Will you forgive me?”.
And I was faced with a decision.
Would I? Sure I could tell her I forgive her. But would I really? Would I still bring it up later? Would I continue to be frustrated and grumpy the rest of the day because of that one action? I had a choice to make.
“I do forgive you, sweet girl. Will you forgive Mommy? I’m sorry for the words that I said that may have hurt you and the tone of my voice that wasn’t loving. Mommy responded out of frustration and not out of love. Mommy’s response did not please God, and I hurt you. I’m sorry.”
She smiled. I realized that she hadn’t done that since she got in trouble. She did forgive me. We hugged and told each other how much we love each other.
And I was reminded of grace and forgiveness. My lack of grace in the situation, but the lavish grace and mercy I am shown daily by my Heavenly Father. We always have a decision to make. We can choose to forgive or we can harbor the hurt. We may not ever forget, but we can forgive.
So thankful for my Savior.
Wednesday 19th of February 2014
Oh momma...thank you for sharing your heart and difficult days with us. This grammy has been there and without Christ and grace. Blessings on you and your ministry to mommas!
Heather G. @ Golden Reflections Blog
Sunday 2nd of February 2014
Oh this is me too! Thank you for sharing your hear! And thanks for stopping by and linking up to Good Tips Tuesday! Pinned!
Wednesday 22nd of January 2014
I'm visiting from Welcome Home Wednesday at Raising Arrows ~ What a beautiful, raw, real account of mothering! Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I imagine every mother has struggled with all those things; I know I have. This is a touching reminder for us. <3
Whitney at Beauty in the Mess
Saturday 25th of January 2014
Thanks for stopping by, Jenni! I struggled with sharing my heart, but I kept getting the feeling that someone needed to know they aren't alone. Motherhood is hard and refining, but definitely worth the struggle.
Thursday 16th of January 2014
Thank you for sharing your heart! I'm sure I need to do that more than I have before.
Wednesday 15th of January 2014
Oh, that made me cry. I've done that way too many times. I love hearing your mama heart and knowing that I'm not the only one.