Although I have grieved not being able to have children, I have never grieved the loss of my own child. I have grieved with friends who have lost babies. But I can’t say that I did the best job following up with them. While I wanted to, I didn’t want the awkward conversation to overshadow our time together. And my thoughts and attention were always on the loss that the parents were feeling. Not really even considering how the children were handling the loss. And I feel horrible.
This a great series at Modern Alternative Pregnancy because it brings to light infant loss. It’s always easier to talk about things when you have information and guidance from others who have walked this road.
I’m 17 weeks pregnant at the writing of this post (18 weeks when it’s actually published), and we haven’t told our children yet. My children are 4.5, 3, and 18 months. The 3-year-old might understand, and the 18-month-old cried with me while I got sick in the bathroom but obviously didn’t really get it. But my 4.5 years old would definitely understand. And that scares me. I don’t want my daughter to hurt and experience real-world pain at 4.5. But it’s also not fair for me to keep this blessing from her. She will be over the moon excited. I already know that she will be hoping the baby is a girl.
I can’t shield her from the hurt and pain of life forever. But I can help equip her with truth from Scripture. I can also have books and resources available to help her work through her grief should something happen. I pray that you find this useful to minister to the children in your life who may be grieving.
You can find the rest of the post, including points to remember, Scripture, and resources, today over at Modern Alternative Pregnancy.